2/01/09- a date we will never forget!

It is inevitable that at some point in this journey that we call "life", there will be several life changing event(s). It could be many different things...a marriage, a birth of a child, a death or perhaps overcoming some great trial, like a serious illness.

It was exactly 2 years ago today that my so little and very precious daughter was diagnosed with a serious illness that forever changed our life. That day remains so vivid in my memory that it seems like it was just yesterday. I'll never forget this face:



As I was getting ready for work this morning, I was thinking back and reflecting on that Sunday morning 2 years ago...

I can remember the days before Ellie's diagnosis when I was starting to notice the minor changes in her daily activity. She was always thirsty, constantly having to go potty and just a feeling of being worn and tired, and which was completely out of character for her. I remember searching the symptoms on webmd.com and everything pointing to diabetes. I remember sitting in my bed with my computer in my lap just sobbing as I continued to read more into diabetes and the associated "first sign" symptoms. I kept searching different sites hoping that something, or anything, would lean me in a different direction and give me a different answer. I remember Todd doing his best to console me. He didn't want me reading the medical websites because they were making me think the worst and he was doing his best to keep me positive. I remember him saying, "everything is going to be okay. " But was it?

Ellie happened to stay the night with my Mom the evening before her diagnosis. They went to the park that chilly Sunday morning, but Ellie wasn't being herself so my Mom decided to bring her home. I will never forget how my heart felt when Ellie walked in the door and her fatigued and exhausted body just fell in my arms. Todd was at baseball practice with Jacob, so I called him and told him to come home right away because we were heading to the walk-in clinic.

I remember how nervous I was in the car ride to the doctor's office. I remember feeling so anxious and edgy as I sat in the lobby cuddling my baby girl in my lap thinking, "please, don't let this be what I think it is."

I remember those words that flashed on the blood glucose meter as the nurse pricked Ellie's finger for the very first time..."high, high, high." After I saw that, I looked at Todd and discreetly mouthed, "they are going to send her to the hospital."

I'll never forget the helplessness I felt as my daughter laid in the hospital bed with IV's coming out of her arms. You could tell she was terrified, but she was trying her best to remain brave and calm. I remember telling jokes, stories, or laughing about the cartoon that was on TV...doing anything to keep her mind distracted. Just as she started to doze off, the doctor came in and gave us the diagnosis...diabetic ketoacidosis. All I remember was thinking, "what the hell is that?" After a quick rundown from the doctor, we were informed that Ellie would be transported to Palms West Hospital where they specialized in the care of children. I'll never forget how terrified Ellie was when she learned she was going to be transported to a new hospital in an ambulance.

The ambulance ride, the arrival at Palms West and the many days, weeks that followed were simply horrifying. This new diagnosis sparked a range of emotions....anger, sadness, worried, frightened and probably even a little guilt. But, soon after I realized it was time to adjust and accept the challenges that we were getting ready to face together as a family.

Our life has been forever changed by this illness, but as time has gone on, all of us have gained a little knowledge and confidence , learned from mistakes, celebrated successes and slowly moved away from the intense feelings we initially felt after the diagnosis.

I have always felt that Ellie is the true hero in this story. She is the one that suffered the most obstacles as a lot of new "stuff" came into her life...stuff to check, stuff to inject, stuff you have to do or not to do, eat or not to eat...there really was so much for her to learn. However, she's adjusted SO well and I couldn't be more proud of her and the bravery she has shown over these last 2 years.

Above all, I simply hope my sweet girl remembers that, despite this daily routine that sometimes can be a little overwhelming, she is still Ellie and there is so MUCH more to her than this disease. She's a...

fun;
silly;
sweet;
loving;
caring;
intelligent; and
beautiful little girl that will forever be my hero!

My hope is that one day in the near future she won't have to deal with diabetes and she will have the chance to live that "normal" life again, free of the many pricks and prods that she endures everyday, and that "normal" life I think we sometimes take for granted. Until then, we will continue to fight this disease and support the cause.

As I've told you many times in the past, sweet girl, we will NEVER, EVER give up hope!

We love you, Elle Belle!!!

xoxo,
Mommy and Daddy

HOPE...
It's powerful.
It's real.
It's all we got.
CURE DIABETES!!