To put it simple...it SUCKS!!

Don't mind this post - I think I'm using it more as a venting platform today. Probably not the best idea, but sometimes you just got to let it go and vent a little.

What sucks you ask? Let me spell it out for you...D.I.A.B.E.T.E.S. S.U.C.K.S.!!!

Although diabetes is more about my daughter and less....way less...about me, sometimes this daily routine can be mentally, emotionally and physically challenging for both Todd and I as parents. Sometimes keeping track and managing Ellie's diabetes can be a little difficult and it can become quite frustrating trying to maintain "normal" blood glucose levels. When I find myself struggling to maintain those "normal levels," I feel like I'm failing my daughter and, seriously, that can be the worse feeling in the world. She's a little girl who only wants to live the life of a normal 8 year old and sometimes diabetes gets in the way.

Ellie's sugars have been fluctuating like mad recently, which, unfortunately, results in an emotional 8 year old with a little tummy ache (which can be common in diabetics) and a very frustrated Mommy. That frustration is, of course, not directed at Ellie in the least bit, but just the situation in general.

This morning was just another one of those "frustrating" moments. Ellie's sugar was perfect at bedtime, so we were cautious in making sure that we counted out the perfect amount of goldfish she was allowed to eat in hopes of waking up with a pretty decent BGL this morning. Instead, we woke up to a number in the 200's....really? Poor Todd went into the bathroom, away from Ellie, and let off a little frustration of his own as I hear him screaming, "diabetes sucks!!!"

Needless to say, I left for work this morning a little frustrated and with tears in my eyes as I kissed my husband goodbye. Sometimes I think it's something that only he truly gets and understands like me. I didn't have to say a word though...he knew exactly where my tears were coming from and how my heart was aching. All we want is for our baby girl to lead a normal, happy and healthy life.

With that being said, it's time to accept what I cannot change, refocus and think positive. I have one dynamite little girl that is relying on me and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure I don't let her down.

xoxo